Shayas in Shanghai

KABOOM !!!

It is officially and finally here: the Year of the Dragon. Happy Chinese New Year to all our friends and family!

This year, our third and last in China, we did something different and stayed in Shanghai for Chinese New Year. (The last two years we went to Thailand and Indonesia). Two things happen during Chinese New Year (CNY): Shanghai gets very quiet and Shanghai gets very loud.

Shanghai gets very quiet for two reasons. First, the majority of the expat community with whom we interact much of the time leaves town for a new adventure, warmer climates, or eye-opening experience. Travel among we expats is not a luxury so much as a given. So even though we just returned from a 2-3 week hiatus over the Christmas break, we are burdened with yet another full week off school and decisions about where to travel next. The ludicrous nature of this gold-plated 'problem' is not lost on me. I fear, however, that it is lost on my children who think I am kidding when I tell them I got my first passport at the age of 34.

Second, and most significant, is that a huge proportion of migrant workers leave Shanghai to head home for Chinese New Year. To understand the full impact of this mass movement of people rent the DVD "Last Train Home" - a 2011 documentary, both fascinating and heartbreaking, about the annual phenomenon when 130 million migrant workers travel back to their rural homes to see their families. Let me tell you about Kelly, my favorite foot masseuse here in Shanghai. Kelly has worked at Head-to-Toe, a family-friendly salon, during the entire time we have lived in Shanghai. Kelly has a son who is Max's age (now 8 years old). Kelly's son lives with her parents in Hunan Province. She sees her son one week a year. To get there, she takes a bus (18 hours) because the train is too expensive. At the end of the week, she leaves her son - knowing he will be another year older and smarter and a couple inches taller the next time she sees him - and returns to Shanghai where she works 12-14 hour days to make money to send home to her parents and son. Kelly always smiles. She is incredibly kind to me and my children. She adores Max, asking about him whenever I show up sans Max. Whenever I see her, I remember this story and I know how lucky I am to have my kids tugging at me constantly. Kelly's story is the same for the many millions of workers who return home for their one week of family time.

So, Shanghai is quiet from the standpoint that there are less people bustling around, less traffic, less congestion. To offset the quiet is the another Chinese phenomenon: Fireworks. Whoo hoo, do the Chinese love their fireworks! And unlike the Fourth of July where we Americans flock to a nearby golf course or downriver to watch the 30-minute display of color, here in Shanghai all you need to do is walk out your front door or glance out your window to see the show - the non-stop show.

             

Let's start with the firecrackers. This is just for noise - really, really loud noise - and lots of smoke. The noise is thought to scare away the evil spirits and misfortune. Fireworks are always lit at weddings and funerals. Always as in: as predictable as the groom kissing the bride at the close of a western wedding. The fireworks come in these long sheets (10 feet or so) - the end is lit and for the next minute or so one extremely loud bang after another is heard. I am grateful during these times that guns are outlawed in Shanghai as the urge to take cover is strong. The sound of fireworks is a common experience in China. Then comes Chinese New Year which officially ran from January 20-February 6. Yes, this is a long time with several high points. January 22nd was New Year, January 26th was the Celebration of the Money God (this may have won the loudest of evenings), and February 6th was the finale and official ushering in of spring (yes, they think its spring here in Shanghai even though its 40 degrees outside and there were snowflakes in the air yesterday). During the entirely of the 17+ day period, you can hear firecrackers booming - sometimes in the distance, sometimes right next door (literally, right next door - ouch). On the afore-mentioned evenings there was all-out fireworks lighting up the sky in every direction. Neighbors on either side of us set off displays equal to those you would see at the neighborhood 4th of July party. We could stand outside rotating our view 360 degrees and see beautiful lights in every direction. And it goes on and on and on...

        

Another belief about fireworks is that the noise wakes up a dragon who will fly across the sky to bring spring rain for the crops. If this is true, 2012 will produce an abundant harvest!

The Other Sharks...

...or, How I Spent My Christmas Vacation.

As this is our final year in Shanghai, we are trying to get in some China touring before completion. So for the long (18 days) break we decided to stay mostly in Shanghai and take a few short trips. Our first trip was to Nanjing (also known as Nanking, as in "The Rape of Nanking"), the former capitol of China.
Loved the convenience of the subway system in Nanjing. We spent 24 hours in Nanjing and ultimately wished we had given it another day to see more sites. Beautiful scenery, gardens, and fresh air.

Lots of walking to and around Ming's Tomb - and those Chinese really know how to make a good wall!

Back in Shanghai we went to Shanghai Stadium to see a basketball game. The Shanghai Sharks vs. the Beijing Ducks. Half the fun was the negotiations with the scalpers outside the stadium before the game  (I am pretty sure it is impossible to purchase tickets the 'usual' way). Jeff had informed the kids ahead of time that 'all the action in a basketball game takes place in the first half' , just in case he got bored and wanted to leave. We stayed through the end and the fourth period was soooo exciting that several of us lost our voices screaming.

 

Our final adventure was to Guilin/Yangshuo - a beautiful, picturesque province in the southern part of China. This is a place tourists generally go in warmer weather when there is more greenery and the river levels are higher. The first day we went on a 5-hour boat trip from Guilin to Yangshuo down the Li River. This mountainous area is the inspiration for many Chinese paintings as well as the photograph on the 20 reminbi bill.

Zach and I spent the following day in the hotel room as he fought a 103+ degree fever, while Jeff, Sarah, and Max went on a bike tour. They stopped in a village and learned how to make soy bean milk. That evening, Jeff, Max and I went on a very small boat to observe a fisherman as he used cormorants (birds) to fish.

This gentleman is 82 years old and he started fishing at age 12. Yep, he has been doing this for 70 years! Mostly, he is a tourist attraction - leaving the younger fisherman to actually go out for hours each evening to catch fish. This man's small raft holds 5 or 6 birds. When they get in the river, the birds/ducks dive under water and catch fish. They have rings around their necks so they are unable to swallow the fish which they bring to the surface. The fisherman picks up the bird and it spits the fish into the basket.

On our last day we visited the Reed Flute Cave - which is this large cave system with stalagmites and stalactites hanging, lit by strategically placed colorful lights. It was an astounding feat of nature. Our pictures just did not do it justice. I'll show you the postcards sometime!

Wednesday, the 4th, it was back-to-school. As testament to how much fun Max had during his Xmas break, here is a picture of him about 10 minutes after returning home from the first day of school:

Zaijian!

Swimming With the Sharks

What do you get the guy who wants/needs nothing for his birthday? Since Jeff swims with the sharks every day at work, we decided to give him the literal experience. We booked a Swimming With The Sharks adventure through China's LiveIt!

The kids all made birthday cards for Jeff. We then gave him a sheet of paper with three sharks (one drawn by each kid) and told him this was a hint. Since we have been discussing going to see the Shanghai Sharks basketball team during Xmas break, Jeff was sure that the picture represented a date ringside. So he decided to make it fun for the kids and guess in a round-about manner by first saying: "We're going to the aquarium?" And we all shouted "Yes!!!"  <Jeff has confused expression>

I convinced the kids that these were non-man-eating sharks, though I did not know if this was true. Just to be sure, on the drive to the aquarium, I asked Jeff to remind me about his life insurance details. Max was upset that he did not also get to swim with the sharks, screaming "My whole life I have wanted to swim with non-man-eating sharks!"

I am happy to report that Jeff swam and he survived. Here is the pictorial proof (pardon the poor picture quality - the glass was filmy, the lighting poor, and the photographer unskilled):

Never Say Never !

Who would've thought that Justin Bieber was such a wise old sage? I know he didn't coin the phrase "Never Say Never" but its certainly his song that comes to mind (and out of Max's mouth) whenever I think or hear the word "never".

And how true it is. Here are just a few examples of the times I recklessly said "Never!" to something, only to find myself doing that exact thing:

1. 'I will never marry a smoker.'  In fairness to Jeff he wanted to be a non-smoker, and after many attempts he is now roughly 5 years smoke-free! Yeah, Jeff!

2. 'I will never move to China.' Please see name of blog.

3. 'I will never yell at my kids.' Then I had kids. Try to avoid this one; apologize when I do; but nonetheless...

4. 'I will never home school my kids.'  Explaination below.

I considered naming this blog entry "The Truth About International Schools in Shanghai", but I thought that might pop up too quickly in copious internet searches by people with pending expat assignments. I know that just placing that sentence within this blog makes that possibility likely anyway - and I do think people should know before they uproot their families and move half-way around the world - yet I still have two kids enrolled in an international school here. You can see how conflicted I am.

So, yes, I am now home schooling Zach. Sarah and Max are still at YCIS. Without giving away too much information about Zach personally, or disparaging the school (however justified), let me explain what type of students international schools are looking for:  VANILLA. 

For children that are even slightly outside the realm of vanilla, finding a suitable educational environment will be at a minimum, difficult, and more likely, impossible. International schools are For-Profit ventures. They market really well. Some even claim to have special education services or support services; but these are rarely individuals with actual specialized training. The goal of the schools here is to weed out those non-vanilla kids during the admissions process.

I understand this from a business sense. Extra services = extra expenses = less profit. Also, there is little long-term word-of-mouth negative effect to the schools of being less than competent or by not delivering on their mission statements which tout individualized education. Why? Because the turnover in the expat community in Shanghai is so swift. There are not that many choices. And so what if you have dissatisfied customers? A whole new crop of them will show up next year. There are no laws or regulations which require international schools to serve children that are not vanilla. Also, changing schools  - especially for a child that is already struggling and frustrated - creates its own disruption and lack of productivity during the transition period. Sometimes parents are left with a lesser-of-two-evils choice.

I recently chaperoned a field trip for Max's 3rd grade class. One of the children in my group was a delightful young girl. She was new to the school, quiet, shy, and barely interacted with the other kids so she and I had plenty of conversation. I learned that she had been living in Shanghai about 3 years and that this was her 4th school. Without knowing her, I knew her story: she isn't vanilla. I also know that when it came time to draw the entryway to the museum, she drew a beautiful, detailed picture unhurried by the three boys running circles around her trying to move her along. It is unfortunately not unusual to hear of kids who have moved from school-to-school in hopes of finding the right fit (or more usually, the right teacher). Sadly, international schools work hard to weed out these non-vanilla kids during the admissions process.

Zach started middle school this year which proved too much for him to navigate in an unsupportive, incompetent environment. Removing him was a labored, but ultimately good for-now decision, until we can get back home where we have more options. One of the things we have already learned about home schooling is that there is endless humor to be found in the situation:

• Sarah (gesturing between Zach and I): "So, how do parent-teacher conferences work?
• Max believes himself to be Zach's PE teacher.
• Zach (when stopping at an unplanned location during errand running): "This was not on the approved field trip itinerary!"
• Trying to come up with a good name for our school. We considered "Barb Shaya Middle School" but realized the acronym was problematic.

Gotta run - Class is in session! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I chaperoned a field trip for Max's 3rd grade class a few weeks ago. One of the children in my group was this adorable little girl. She was very quiet, shy, and didn't interact with the other kids. During my conversations with her I learned that she had lived in Shanghai for 3 years and this was her 4th school. In that moment I knew her story - she wasn't vanilla. I don't know what her particular issue was. I do know that when it came time to draw the entryway to the museum, she drew the most beautiful, detailed picture - unhurried by the flock of boys that ran circles around her ready to move on.

 

This is China

We have been back in Shanghai just over a week and the jet lag seems to be subsiding. However, the adjustments continue. Having missed the inexpensive massages the most, Zach and I landed ourselves at Head-to-Toe - a family-friendly place - within hours of arriving in Shanghai for a foot massage. I then managed to fit in a full-body massage and another foot massage within the next 4 days!

Our second, and most coveted, activity was to hit the DVD store. To our surprise and disappointment, the DVD stores were all closed! Why? It seems a certain American VP was in town for a visit. A week later, said VP is gone and one of the best perks of expat life in China has returned. Whew!

As a reminder of just where we are living, we have also been greeted with dirty air, high humidity, unseasonably large amounts of rainfall, a constant flow of workmen fixing the also constant breaking of household fixtures, and a super-strict school dress code. I have already had several conversations with the school administration about Sarah's nose stud (no surprise there) and have compromised to allow her to wear a clear plastic itsy-bitsy stud to school (it is too early in the healing process for Sarah to remove the stud for 8 hours every day).

To further cement the fact that we are back in China, I picked up the current issue of City Weekend, and saw these stats:

51,174: The cost in yuan of a private license plate as of July 24. This is the seventh consecutive month that the price has risen. In June it was 48,855 rmb. USD equivalent: $3,450

72: The number of Chinese multimillionaires who have died young since 2003, says Shanghai Daily. Nineteen died of illness, 17 committed suicide, 15 were murdered, 14 were executed and seven died in accidents. Executed???

13: The age of a girl abducted by a couple in Pudong who planned to raise her as a bride for their 22-year old son. The couple claimed not to know the girl was 13 or that they had done anything wrong. (I am guessing this couple will be executed).

Living under Uncle Sam - as much as we complain (and need I point out the fact that we CAN complain??) - is really not so bad.

En Garde

 
It is a challenge finding adequate sporting activities for expat kids here in Shanghai. So when we discovered the Dragon Fencing Center we decided to give it a try. Sarah and Zach have been attending fencing for two months now, three times a week. Sarah loves it. Zach likes it. We see it as one of those 'not to be missed opportunities'. Why? The coach is Mao LinQun who was on the Chinese National Fencing team from 2002-2006, landing himself in First Place nationally several times, and First Place Asia Champion. He also competed in the World Cup. You can learn more about Dragon Fencing at www.sh-dfc.com.  For now, here are some pics of our budding fencers. Zach, being camera-averse, shows up less often than Sarah, so don't think I'm playing favorites! 

 
 
 
 
 
 

More Shayas in Shanghai

 
 

Welcome to our Shanghai Home Margot, Estee, and Greg!

 
Entering the Pearl Tower...
 

Heading to Old Town...

 
Lantern filled-tree in preparation for Chinese New Year...

 

Estee standing outside the commodities market - aka "junk/stuff" - Here you find buttons galore, beads, string, gloves, socks, pencil boxes, etc.

 

A VERY cold trip to Beijing to see the Great Wall....

 
 
 

CD Cover anyone???

 
 
To Greg, Margot and Estee:  Thanks so much for making the journey to the far east to visit us! We loved spending time with you and the opportunity to show you our 'other life' !!!  

Whatever happened to quality service?

I'll answer that question momentarily, but first a brief pause for apology and explanation:

I haven't posted to this blog in AGES. I have received many kind emails from worried friends and family inquiring as to the reason for my absence. In a word: Life. My professional life has soared which is enriching and exciting. At the same time, I have remained committed to my pledge to not to do any work after 3:30 p.m., enabling me to devote all my attention to supporting various sports, homework, projects, and educational intervention strategies.

A second, (and more frustrating), cause is technology. A recent article in City Weekend stated that the China Intenet Network Information Center reports that Shanghai has the slowest internet speeds in all of China and that it is "ridiculously short of the international average". Two things here - 1) I didn't need an official study to tell me that, and 2) If China is reporting this, we can assume the situation is even worse than stated. What this means, practically speaking, is that I need a significant chunk of time to create a blog post - especially one with pictures - and often times I either don't have a large enough window, or my attempts are thwarted.

Now onto the question of the day:  Whatever happened to quality service? I recall the late 80's - early in my banking career - there was this push for quality service. The Malcolm Baldridge Award was on the tip of many tongues. Customer service, quality customer service, was at the forefront of all management meetings. A decade later many companies were already experiencing the effects of downsizing - fewer people and more work - and the service issue seemed to fall to the background replaced with more and faster. Finding employees and service providers who seem genuinely grateful that they are being asked to work is rare.

China is different. There are 1.3 billion people here. That's a lot of people. Most of whom subsist on less money than many of us spend on family cell phone bills. People here make it easy for you to purchase their goods and services. I have never experienced a moment in Shanghai where someone did not immediately respond to my presence or request. One of my favorite aspects of all this service is the willingness for house calls and delivery service.

Usher is coming to Shanghai March 12th. I'm not sure I know many Usher tunes, but Sarah does so she and I will go. I phoned mypiao.com (the Chinese version of Ticketmaster) and told them which tickets I was interested in. They took my address and cell phone number and the next day a guy arrived on his motorbike with tickets in hand. I gave him cash (remember, here everything is cash) for the exact price of the tickets - no service fees or handling charges.

As another example, a couple Shaya-bros wanted Jeff to purchase some watches for them. Jeff and I were at a coffee shop at 5 p.m. on Sunday discussing where/how. I texted my friend (the Shanghai guru as I like to call her) and asked where does one purchase 'good' watches? She told me she uses a guy who comes to your house, then gave me a number. The next day Jeff texted the guy who then arrived at our house that evening with a backpack full of watches. There was a specific watch that Jeff wanted that our seller did not have with him, but he said he would get it within a few days. We purchased two watches that night, and as stated, he returned two days later with the third watch.

So to recap, service in Shanghai works like this:

Me: I need.

Them:  I bring.

 

Holiday Sales!

 

What We Do in Shanghai...

 
 
Have dresses made at the fabric market to wear to the school dance.

 
Do homework. Grudgingly.

 
Play soccer, er, I mean football.

 
Have friends over...

 
...or go out with them.

 
Eat in Chinese restaurants.

 
Sip on bamppucinos.

 
Play on the computer, sleep, or if you are really efficient like Zach, do both at the same time!!